Well this week I had a few inspiring moments. Actually, it's been an accumulation of a lot of inspiring moments, and I feel like I need to write some of it down before I forget how much I have felt inspired.
First off, I feel like lately I have been a little frustrated with the way a few things in my life have been going. The combination of stress, injury, and disappointment have kind of been rocking my world. I know I joke about this a lot, but sometimes I really do wonder why bad things happen to good people. Sometimes it really seems like you are doing your best, but things just don't seem to work out how you want it to.
Well thanks to several friends, who probably have no idea the impact they have had on me, I have been able to think about things from a little better perspective. I will start off by quoting a friend of mine who I became pen pals with about a year ago.
"I believe that a huge part of this life is struggle. That's how we grow as people. When God has us struggle to figure out what he wants us to do so we can be happy, it's his way of helping us effectively learn. It's no different with his church. These past few months I have been thinking a lot about this principle. I love how Joseph Smith had problems, and how the church continues to struggle to figure out what God wants. It's empowering to me. Look at all the good he and the church has done despite mistakes! It helps me know that I can do good even when I screw up. Imperfect people running God's church is part of his rad plan!"
I love how he says God lets us struggle so we can figure out what he wants us to do to find happiness and to learn. We aren't supposed to be perfect and things aren't supposed to go perfectly in our life. There are going to be hard things, but it's the process that makes us who we are. I love the idea that struggling to do the right thing and still making mistakes on our way is totally fine. I know that I, personally, tend to be a perfectionist, and I feel like I constantly have to remind myself that there is no need for me to be so hard on myself.
I was hanging out with another friend, who I just met a couple weeks ago, and was talking to her about writing a letter of intent to grad programs. We are both applying to grad school this year, and we were swapping feelings and ideas about the letter of intent. She is an artist and ended up telling a group of us about her spiritual awakening, if you will. She had a phase where she was trying to capture the soul in a picture. She said that she really struggled with getting what she wanted, and found that it really brought her down into a depression of sorts. She said that when she was at her lowest point was when she was able to do her best work. It was at this point that she realized it's not about capturing the soul in a picture, it's about the journey and finding your soul as you struggle through hard things. Having her tell us something so personal and something so relatable gave me chills.
I loved her perspective and that she felt so passionately about it.
It's so interesting to me how so many of us have similar feelings and go through similar situations, but we express them differently or understand them differently, based on our experience and ways of thinking. As alone as we often feel, we're actually not alone at all. As we struggle through hard things and take that journey to find our soul, we become stronger, better people for it.
And that is the beauty of God's rad plan. Conquering the refiner's fire to become better people.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Writing... It's for fun.
So things have changed in my life a little since my last blog update... the good news is that I graduated! I'm working at a school now as a Speech Technician. I love it so much. My students are the best.
Last Friday I had one of those happy teacher moments. You know, the kind that makes the week before progress reports are due (aka hell week) worth it. I was working on writing and describing things with one of my students. I told her that her writing is a lot like painting a picture. Instead of using paint and a brush though, you are using your words. I told her I wanted her to use words to form a picture in my head, that way I know exactly what she is talking about. As we practiced, she said the best thing any teacher can hear. "Hey! This is actually really fun! Writing can actually be fun! We should do this every time!"
The excitement that immediately ensued me was kind of surprising. I didn't realize I felt so passionately about writing. I immediately agreed with her and told her all the reasons writing can be fun. I told her about writing stories about expressing feelings. I told her how in addition to writing for fun, writing is important to express yourself in a career and other everyday situations. I was really excited that she was having fun learning, and I really wanted her excitement to last more than the 30 minutes I see her.
After I talked to her about it, I started thinking about my own writing. Writing has always been a strength of mine in school, and there are times that I really enjoy it. I realized that I don't do it often enough anymore. I don't spend the time to write for fun. Most of the times I write, its for an assignment or required for work. As I was thinking about this, I remembered that I have this secret blog! And there is no excuse for me to not write. I strongly believe that everyone has a voice that needs to be heard. Sometimes all people need is someone to listen (or read, in this case). So I am telling all of you unknown people who read my blog or who have read my blog... thanks for taking the time to learn who I am. It's probably not the most interesting, but it is a way for me to express myself.
Especially since painting a picture with my words is the only painting I will ever be talented at.
Last Friday I had one of those happy teacher moments. You know, the kind that makes the week before progress reports are due (aka hell week) worth it. I was working on writing and describing things with one of my students. I told her that her writing is a lot like painting a picture. Instead of using paint and a brush though, you are using your words. I told her I wanted her to use words to form a picture in my head, that way I know exactly what she is talking about. As we practiced, she said the best thing any teacher can hear. "Hey! This is actually really fun! Writing can actually be fun! We should do this every time!"
The excitement that immediately ensued me was kind of surprising. I didn't realize I felt so passionately about writing. I immediately agreed with her and told her all the reasons writing can be fun. I told her about writing stories about expressing feelings. I told her how in addition to writing for fun, writing is important to express yourself in a career and other everyday situations. I was really excited that she was having fun learning, and I really wanted her excitement to last more than the 30 minutes I see her.
After I talked to her about it, I started thinking about my own writing. Writing has always been a strength of mine in school, and there are times that I really enjoy it. I realized that I don't do it often enough anymore. I don't spend the time to write for fun. Most of the times I write, its for an assignment or required for work. As I was thinking about this, I remembered that I have this secret blog! And there is no excuse for me to not write. I strongly believe that everyone has a voice that needs to be heard. Sometimes all people need is someone to listen (or read, in this case). So I am telling all of you unknown people who read my blog or who have read my blog... thanks for taking the time to learn who I am. It's probably not the most interesting, but it is a way for me to express myself.
Especially since painting a picture with my words is the only painting I will ever be talented at.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Stress Continues
Well, now it is really finals week. And people are losing it. But there is good news! People are still mostly good!
At least that is what I am telling myself. Because this weekend something amazing happened to me. It's called I had a wonderful discussion with a friend. Real talk. And it reminded me of what it is I love most in the whole world. The reason I am inflicting mental pain, as well as physical pain, on myself as I try to get an education.
And that is that I love love love people!! I love how we can all look at the same picture but see such different things! I love how everyone really yearns to connect with someone else! And when it happens, it's seriously magic! It's the best feeling in the world! And I remembered that as I connected with a friend I haven't talked to in a while.
It's so easy for us to be shallow in our conversations. It's like we follow a script.
"Hey! How are you?"
"I'm alright. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good."
"Well, I'll see ya later!"
"Yeah! See ya!"
We don't take the time out of our seemingly busy lives to connect with people who need it the most. This is something I have loved to do for so long, and it just hit me that I have seriously been neglecting building relationships with the people around me like I should be. Well, that's ok. Because there never ceases to be people around me, so there are plenty of chances to make up for it!
Also, here is a little song that is close to my heart this week.
At least that is what I am telling myself. Because this weekend something amazing happened to me. It's called I had a wonderful discussion with a friend. Real talk. And it reminded me of what it is I love most in the whole world. The reason I am inflicting mental pain, as well as physical pain, on myself as I try to get an education.
And that is that I love love love people!! I love how we can all look at the same picture but see such different things! I love how everyone really yearns to connect with someone else! And when it happens, it's seriously magic! It's the best feeling in the world! And I remembered that as I connected with a friend I haven't talked to in a while.
It's so easy for us to be shallow in our conversations. It's like we follow a script.
"Hey! How are you?"
"I'm alright. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good."
"Well, I'll see ya later!"
"Yeah! See ya!"
We don't take the time out of our seemingly busy lives to connect with people who need it the most. This is something I have loved to do for so long, and it just hit me that I have seriously been neglecting building relationships with the people around me like I should be. Well, that's ok. Because there never ceases to be people around me, so there are plenty of chances to make up for it!
Also, here is a little song that is close to my heart this week.
Stress
It being the final weeks of school, stress seems to be sweeping all of Provo. Last week felt like a month to me. Between my numerous work shifts, last-minute assignments due, tests, class, and more last-minute assignments, there was barely time to accomplish some basic necessities of life. Such as eating and sleeping. Sometimes I'm not sure how I survive on as inconsistent a schedule as I do. I literally squeeze things in where nothing should be sqwooze.
Anyway, despite my extreme stress, I feel like there are many others who are experiencing this stress at a total different degree than I am. And I really feel for them. I was there once..... back in the days of the most terrible and difficult semesters of college.... good times. The good news is you survive and discover that you are stronger than you thought!
Anyway, as an assignment, we were supposed to do something nice for someone who is more stressed than us. Since I find myself working quite a bit, I often get my meals at work. We had a lot of leftover doughnuts from the day before when I went into work one morning. I was in unusually early because I had a class at nine and had to write a paper before I went. Ok, maybe that wasn't as unusual as I would have liked it to be. A good friend of mine is in that class with me. And he always tells me of his intense chemistry and math classes. Every time I hear about them I get more and more grateful that my calling in life has nothing to do with those subjects.
So, with leftover doughnuts at work and a super stressed friend in my next class, I figured it would be a good idea to bring him breakfast. Which I did. And he enjoyed it. In fact, he gave me lots of positive reinforcement over text message, which makes me think he is trying to train me to do it again. Pavlov's dog style. I guess we'll see if that worked...
Anyway, despite my extreme stress, I feel like there are many others who are experiencing this stress at a total different degree than I am. And I really feel for them. I was there once..... back in the days of the most terrible and difficult semesters of college.... good times. The good news is you survive and discover that you are stronger than you thought!
Anyway, as an assignment, we were supposed to do something nice for someone who is more stressed than us. Since I find myself working quite a bit, I often get my meals at work. We had a lot of leftover doughnuts from the day before when I went into work one morning. I was in unusually early because I had a class at nine and had to write a paper before I went. Ok, maybe that wasn't as unusual as I would have liked it to be. A good friend of mine is in that class with me. And he always tells me of his intense chemistry and math classes. Every time I hear about them I get more and more grateful that my calling in life has nothing to do with those subjects.
So, with leftover doughnuts at work and a super stressed friend in my next class, I figured it would be a good idea to bring him breakfast. Which I did. And he enjoyed it. In fact, he gave me lots of positive reinforcement over text message, which makes me think he is trying to train me to do it again. Pavlov's dog style. I guess we'll see if that worked...
Sunday, November 25, 2012
I'm Thankful in New York
Well, this week was tons of fun because I got to hang out
with my little sister in New York!! I’ve never really been for longer than a
few hours… so it’s been a blast! So I
decided to create a list of everything I’ve been thankful for ever since I got
to New York.
1. I’m thankful for
my car. Subways are really fun…… but
cars are faster, cleaner, and more capable of going anywhere not on a track. I will give subways this: they provide good
entertainment, they are better for the environment, and they are probably
cheaper, though it doesn’t seem by much.
2. I am thankful for the prices in Utah. I can’t even buy a can of beans out here for
under a dollar! And that’s poor man’s food!
Let alone the produce, and any other thing you think you want, but
suddenly you realize you can live without.
I’m sorry but I don’t think I will choose to live in a dirty place where
I can’t be in a space larger than 5 square feet without someone in my grill for
over-priced food. No thanks.
3. I am thankful for wide open spaces. And green.
It’s fun to be around a lot of people sometimes, but just
sometimes. I think that would be hard
for me to handle every day. And it’s a
little depressing how there is not very much greenery around. Some people are fine with that, but it’s not
something I can live with.
4. I am thankful for Momma’s cookin. I know, again with the food. But seriously, French toast at Happy Days
Diner is just not the same as the feast I would have gotten at home. Man, seriously can’t wait until
Christmas! Only 3 more weeks until I
make my way home.
5. I am thankful for MY SISTER!! She is the best! I am so glad she found the deal on the ticket
so I could come visit her! It’s been way
too long since I’ve seen her, and we’ve had so many good times while I have
been out here. It’s not like it’s been a
whole year since we’ve seen each other or anything….. We just picked up right where we left
off! I am happy to get back to my life,
but I’m sad to leave Leah. I wish we
were closer to each other. But who
knows! Maybe we will be soon! Life always throws crazy things at you!
Anyway, my stay at New York has been such an experience. I love getting to see new things, and I really
loved being able to finally get the tour of The Big City, by none other than my
very own little city-slicker sista! *BEST FRIENDS*
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sunday Top 5
1. Church
I love the chance I get to realign my perspective on Sunday and learn about the gospel. It’s such a relief from the storm of life. It helps remind me what truly is the most important. Also, I love learning from others at church. I feel like it’s the time that we can all really relate to each other and come to the realization that we really aren’t all that different. I also love getting to know my Savior better and his will for me. In church, you are given the opportunity to really open up the lines for spiritual communication as he tries to tell us the things we need to do or know to be successful and happy.
2. Sunday Afternoon Nap
After a week of extreme stress, Sunday afternoon naps are the most delightful. The best is when you have no obligations, and you can just take however long a nap you want. I feel like Sunday is the day to retrieve your sanity, and taking a nap is a good way to do that.
3. Dressing Up
Ok, I love dressing up!! Especially when you have a reason to! It’s so fun! I feel like I don’t often get motivated to dress up, but on Sundays, there is church, so what better reason to pull out your nice clothes? Also, I can wear heels because I know I will only be wearing them for 3 hours, rather than all day. While I do love heels with all my heart, they are definitely not something I like to wear for much longer than 3 hours……
4. Ultimate Uno
This game is the best. Basically a speedy Uno. I learned it recently, and can’t get enough of it. It’s best played on Sundays, because that is when people have time. And it’s a game that brings people together. Or tears people apart. I found it is best to play a game of scum after, to balance it out for the people who don’t like speedy games and prefer strategy.
5. Front Porch Sitting
The best is sitting out on your porch, watching the happenings of the world. It slows time down, gives you time to think, and time to notice what’s around you. I love talking to my family while I am out there. The front porch is kind of my sanctuary. Or my office. I love it when I have friends join me out there to talk. But I also love being out there by myself. Someday I will have a big one, complete with rocking chairs.
I love the chance I get to realign my perspective on Sunday and learn about the gospel. It’s such a relief from the storm of life. It helps remind me what truly is the most important. Also, I love learning from others at church. I feel like it’s the time that we can all really relate to each other and come to the realization that we really aren’t all that different. I also love getting to know my Savior better and his will for me. In church, you are given the opportunity to really open up the lines for spiritual communication as he tries to tell us the things we need to do or know to be successful and happy.
2. Sunday Afternoon Nap
After a week of extreme stress, Sunday afternoon naps are the most delightful. The best is when you have no obligations, and you can just take however long a nap you want. I feel like Sunday is the day to retrieve your sanity, and taking a nap is a good way to do that.
3. Dressing Up
Ok, I love dressing up!! Especially when you have a reason to! It’s so fun! I feel like I don’t often get motivated to dress up, but on Sundays, there is church, so what better reason to pull out your nice clothes? Also, I can wear heels because I know I will only be wearing them for 3 hours, rather than all day. While I do love heels with all my heart, they are definitely not something I like to wear for much longer than 3 hours……
4. Ultimate Uno
This game is the best. Basically a speedy Uno. I learned it recently, and can’t get enough of it. It’s best played on Sundays, because that is when people have time. And it’s a game that brings people together. Or tears people apart. I found it is best to play a game of scum after, to balance it out for the people who don’t like speedy games and prefer strategy.
5. Front Porch Sitting
The best is sitting out on your porch, watching the happenings of the world. It slows time down, gives you time to think, and time to notice what’s around you. I love talking to my family while I am out there. The front porch is kind of my sanctuary. Or my office. I love it when I have friends join me out there to talk. But I also love being out there by myself. Someday I will have a big one, complete with rocking chairs.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
In Love With Life
Well I have a few things I would like to say....
First off, I am so so HAPPY I live in America. And I am so grateful to those who risk their life so that I can live the dream I am living right now.
Second off, I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity that was practically laid in my lap for me to go to college. Looking back in my family history, this is something many people in my family wanted to do, but weren't able to. I am so grateful that I am lucky enough to make my dreams come true.
With graduation coming up, I've realized that the possibilities are endless. And that I am going to have to make some big decisions coming up. But the fact that I have these decisions to make is a blessing in itself. And I can't wait to start making them!
In other news, here's some music I've been listening to lately.... I know I don't usually mix blogs, but I just feel like it today.
First off, I am so so HAPPY I live in America. And I am so grateful to those who risk their life so that I can live the dream I am living right now.
Second off, I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity that was practically laid in my lap for me to go to college. Looking back in my family history, this is something many people in my family wanted to do, but weren't able to. I am so grateful that I am lucky enough to make my dreams come true.
With graduation coming up, I've realized that the possibilities are endless. And that I am going to have to make some big decisions coming up. But the fact that I have these decisions to make is a blessing in itself. And I can't wait to start making them!
In other news, here's some music I've been listening to lately.... I know I don't usually mix blogs, but I just feel like it today.
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