Stress Continues

Well, now it is really finals week. And people are losing it.  But there is good news!  People are still mostly good!

At least that is what I am telling myself.  Because this weekend something amazing happened to me.  It's called I had a wonderful discussion with a friend.  Real talk.  And it reminded me of what it is I love most in the whole world.  The reason I am inflicting mental pain, as well as physical pain, on myself as I try to get an education.

And that is that I love love love people!! I love how we can all look at the same picture but see such different things! I love how everyone really yearns to connect with someone else! And when it happens, it's seriously magic!  It's the best feeling in the world! And I remembered that as I connected with a friend I haven't talked to in a while.

It's so easy for us to be shallow in our conversations.  It's like we follow a script.

"Hey! How are you?"
"I'm alright. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good."
"Well, I'll see ya later!"
"Yeah! See ya!"

We don't take the time out of our seemingly busy lives to connect with people who need it the most.  This is something I have loved to do for so long, and it just hit me that I have seriously been neglecting building relationships with the people around me like I should be.  Well, that's ok.  Because there never ceases to be people around me, so there are plenty of chances to make up for it!





Also, here is a little song that is close to my heart this week.


 

Stress

It being the final weeks of school, stress seems to be sweeping all of Provo.  Last week felt like a month to me.  Between my numerous work shifts, last-minute assignments due, tests, class, and more last-minute assignments, there was barely time to accomplish some basic necessities of life.  Such as eating and sleeping. Sometimes I'm not sure how I survive on as inconsistent a schedule as I do.  I literally squeeze things in where nothing should be sqwooze.

Anyway, despite my extreme stress, I feel like there are many others who are experiencing this stress at a total different degree than I am.  And I really feel for them.  I was there once..... back in the days of the most terrible and difficult semesters of college.... good times.  The good news is you survive and discover that you are stronger than you thought!

Anyway, as an assignment, we were supposed to do something nice for someone who is more stressed than us.  Since I find myself working quite a bit, I often get my meals at work.  We had a lot of leftover doughnuts from the day before when I went into work one morning. I was in unusually early because I had a class at nine and had to write a paper before I went.  Ok, maybe that wasn't as unusual as I would have liked it to be.  A good friend of mine is in that class with me. And he always tells me of his intense chemistry and math classes.  Every time I hear about them I get more and more grateful that my calling in life has nothing to do with those subjects.

So, with leftover doughnuts at work and a super stressed friend in my next class, I figured it would be a good idea to bring him breakfast. Which I did. And he enjoyed it.  In fact, he gave me lots of positive reinforcement over text message, which makes me think he is trying to train me to do it again.  Pavlov's dog style.  I guess we'll see if that worked...

I'm Thankful in New York

Well, this week was tons of fun because I got to hang out with my little sister in New York!! I’ve never really been for longer than a few hours… so it’s been a blast!  So I decided to create a list of everything I’ve been thankful for ever since I got to New York.

1.  I’m thankful for my car.  Subways are really fun…… but cars are faster, cleaner, and more capable of going anywhere not on a track.  I will give subways this: they provide good entertainment, they are better for the environment, and they are probably cheaper, though it doesn’t seem by much. 

2. I am thankful for the prices in Utah.  I can’t even buy a can of beans out here for under a dollar! And that’s poor man’s food!  Let alone the produce, and any other thing you think you want, but suddenly you realize you can live without.  I’m sorry but I don’t think I will choose to live in a dirty place where I can’t be in a space larger than 5 square feet without someone in my grill for over-priced food. No thanks.

3. I am thankful for wide open spaces.  And green.  It’s fun to be around a lot of people sometimes, but just sometimes.  I think that would be hard for me to handle every day.  And it’s a little depressing how there is not very much greenery around.  Some people are fine with that, but it’s not something I can live with. 

4. I am thankful for Momma’s cookin.  I know, again with the food.  But seriously, French toast at Happy Days Diner is just not the same as the feast I would have gotten at home.  Man, seriously can’t wait until Christmas!  Only 3 more weeks until I make my way home. 

5. I am thankful for MY SISTER!! She is the best!  I am so glad she found the deal on the ticket so I could come visit her!  It’s been way too long since I’ve seen her, and we’ve had so many good times while I have been out here.  It’s not like it’s been a whole year since we’ve seen each other or anything…..  We just picked up right where we left off!  I am happy to get back to my life, but I’m sad to leave Leah.  I wish we were closer to each other.  But who knows! Maybe we will be soon! Life always throws crazy things at you!

Anyway, my stay at New York has been such an experience.  I love getting to see new things, and I really loved being able to finally get the tour of The Big City, by none other than my very own little city-slicker sista! *BEST FRIENDS*

Sunday Top 5

1. Church

 I love the chance I get to realign my perspective on Sunday and learn about the gospel. It’s such a relief from the storm of life. It helps remind me what truly is the most important. Also, I love learning from others at church. I feel like it’s the time that we can all really relate to each other and come to the realization that we really aren’t all that different. I also love getting to know my Savior better and his will for me. In church, you are given the opportunity to really open up the lines for spiritual communication as he tries to tell us the things we need to do or know to be successful and happy.

2. Sunday Afternoon Nap

After a week of extreme stress, Sunday afternoon naps are the most delightful. The best is when you have no obligations, and you can just take however long a nap you want. I feel like Sunday is the day to retrieve your sanity, and taking a nap is a good way to do that.

3. Dressing Up

Ok, I love dressing up!! Especially when you have a reason to! It’s so fun! I feel like I don’t often get motivated to dress up, but on Sundays, there is church, so what better reason to pull out your nice clothes? Also, I can wear heels because I know I will only be wearing them for 3 hours, rather than all day. While I do love heels with all my heart, they are definitely not something I like to wear for much longer than 3 hours……

 4. Ultimate Uno

This game is the best. Basically a speedy Uno. I learned it recently, and can’t get enough of it. It’s best played on Sundays, because that is when people have time. And it’s a game that brings people together. Or tears people apart. I found it is best to play a game of scum after, to balance it out for the people who don’t like speedy games and prefer strategy.

5. Front Porch Sitting

The best is sitting out on your porch, watching the happenings of the world. It slows time down, gives you time to think, and time to notice what’s around you. I love talking to my family while I am out there. The front porch is kind of my sanctuary. Or my office. I love it when I have friends join me out there to talk. But I also love being out there by myself. Someday I will have a big one, complete with rocking chairs.

In Love With Life

Well I have a few things I would like to say....

 First off, I am so so HAPPY I live in America. And I am so grateful to those who risk their life so that I can live the dream I am living right now.

 Second off, I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity that was practically laid in my lap for me to go to college. Looking back in my family history, this is something many people in my family wanted to do, but weren't able to. I am so grateful that I am lucky enough to make my dreams come true.

 With graduation coming up, I've realized that the possibilities are endless. And that I am going to have to make some big decisions coming up. But the fact that I have these decisions to make is a blessing in itself. And I can't wait to start making them!

 In other news, here's some music I've been listening to lately.... I know I don't usually mix blogs, but I just feel like it today.
 

Disappointed

Lately I have been kind of down thinking about society and humanity. I just feel so disappointed in how people are. Selfishness, lack or responsibility, carelessness, and ignorance seem to be sweeping the nation. Sometimes it really feels like there are no good people in the world. But, I have decided something. Yes, society is disappointing. And the public is ridiculous. But, what can I do about it? Well, nothing. No matter what I do, I cannot make everyone change. Heck, even if I could, there would still be problems because I’m not perfect either. I realized that I have let this thought process really get me down. And since this problem cannot be fixed… I need to fix my perspective.

 Then I realized something. I am being a little bit ridiculous because most of the people I know are great people. Lately I have met a few who have really been the worst, and they happened to have a big effect on my life at this point. And I realized it’s so easy for me to generalize a few bad experiences to everyone; however, that’s not exactly fair to those who legitimately do their best. Sometimes your brain just makes you think things that you don’t realize aren’t logical. It’s hard to stop, like vomit. But recognizing the generalizations you make can save you many negative feelings.

 And I didn’t realize my brain was vomiting until just now. I guess it’s time for liquids and plenty of rest…..

A BIT UH BOWLING IN THA PARK!

Have you ever been bowling in the park? If not, you are truly missing out. It is a great experience. First, you must obtain a set of bowling pins and a bowling ball. Second, you must find a nice canyon park to bowl on the rim of. We have only ever done it at Rock Canyon Park, in Provo, UT, but I suppose any canyon park would work. Third, you must make sure you have at least 3 bowlers. Two people have to make sure the pins and ball don’t go rolling off the cliff, while the other is bowling. The best strategy for bringing the bowling balls up to the rim is either sticking all the pins in a blanket and making a man haul it up, or splitting the pins between each person. Do not take them in a box. You will slip and fall and it will break. Now all you have to do is bowl!! Don’t forget to stand guard of the pins and ball! Also, if you start to smell burning rubber, don’t be alarmed. It’s not burning rubber. It’s just the ball getting good use! Bowling in the park is a great way to build friendships, free the soul, and HAVE FUN!

Buying a Stranger a Coke

The other day my teacher gave us an assignment to buy a stranger a “Coke.” He wanted us to try it and see how we felt about it. Well, first of all, I was pretty excited about this assignment. I thought it was a cool idea and a good push to be more outgoing. Little did I realize how hard that assignment would prove to be. In the mornings before work, sometimes I go to a gas station and pick up a coke to survive the day. I work really early every morning, but usually I don’t get to sleep at a reasonable time. So as I was there, I timed my purchase perfectly so that the other man who was getting a drink in there would HAVE to go behind me and then I would just tell the cashier that his was on me. Well, as I jumped in front of him as he was walking up, another cashier came from the back and helped him at the other register. I was not happy that my plan was spoiled! Strike 1. The next time I tried, I was with a friend. We just ate waffles together and I told her about my assignment. So we went into 7-11 to complete the assignment. I started getting a Slurpee, checking out who all was in the store and seeing if I could time it perfectly and get right in front of them. I tried to unobviously stand around, waiting for someone to look like they were ready to check out, but the cashier called out to me, “Are you ready to check out?” Unfortunately, my friend didn’t completely understand the assignment at the time, and she said “Yes!” So I had to check out. Strike 2. I felt like maybe it was a little hard because I didn’t have any cash. If I did, that should make it easier, right? Well, I drove me and my friend down to the bank to get some cash, then we drove by the next gas station. All I did was drive by it and look inside. There didn’t seem to be anyone in there I was interested in buying a drink for, for some reason. I think I just didn’t want to put myself out there. I don’t know why it was so hard, after all it was only a nice deed. Maybe it was because I felt like I had to form the perfect situation so the my purchase of their coke would seem like the heroic thing to do. Strike 3. As we were driving away, I realized I needed to stop coming up with excuses and just do it! So, I took my friend with me to the next gas station we drove by, got out, and waited patiently while a lady filled up her cup. As I saw her finishing up, I quickly grabbed a candy bar and got in line to buy it. She came up behind me, and the cashier asked me if that was all I wanted. I told her to put the lady behind me’s drink on my tab as well. And I told the lady I would buy it for her. Then she showed me she had a free drink coupon. So much for my heroic buy. Then I told her really not to worry about it, it was for a class. So much for my appearance of good intentions. But, she was still really flattered, and as I left the gas station I saw her point me out to her son, who was in the front seat of her car. I waved and smiled, and realized I felt pretty good about what just happened. I think I felt the best about how happy she seemed and surprised that I did that for her, as well as the happiness I felt for actually conquering my fear. Although I’m not really sure where that fear came from or why I had it. I’m not usually afraid of being outgoing in social situations. Especially if it’s helping someone out. Maybe it was because this person clearly didn’t need help at all. All in all, I would say it was a great experience. And I encourage others to try it. You can learn a lot about yourself, and it just feels good to make other people happy. Even if it takes 4 tries!

The Color That is Best

Stop! Danger! Hot! I’m bleeding! What can represent all these very important statements? That’s right, the color red. Of all the colors, red is clearly the most important. Red is the color used to get people’s attention. Red may have even saved your life. Red is a color full of energy. It is the color of heat. People who have a “red personality” are those who are very extroverted, ambitious, and optimistic. They are the ones who get things done and are the leaders and power-wielders of the world. Wearing red shows confidence. Undoubtedly, a red dress or red lip stick is an attention-getter. And, red is the color of strawberries. Red is the color of mortality. Red is the color of the leaves in autumn time. It’s the color of the liquid that runs through your veins to keep you alive. It is the color of love. Red is the color your face turns in embarrassment. Red represents those things that help you know you are alive, capable of great things, but it keeps you grounded, representing things that remind you of your imperfections and limitations. Red is my favorite color. In my own life, it has become a symbol of joy, meaningful relationships, confidence, and spontaneity. So, no I cannot say that red is the best color. But I can say it is the one I am the most fond of.

Concerning The Head and the Heart and Waffles

Last weekend some good friends and I went to a concert in Salt Lake City. We went to see The Head and the Heart, which is a band we listened to a lot this summer. One of their songs we considered our theme song, “Rivers and Roads.” This song talks about how friends will move away and things will inevitably change. It spoke to all of our hearts because even though we knew we would not be best friends forever and eventually, things will change, we will always have the summer to look back on and remember as one of the best summers ever. So when they started playing the song, we pretty much lost our minds. The whole experience was great, and definitely a night we will always remember. As I started the next week after that fantastic weekend, I contemplated all the wonderful friendships I have made over the years. It is really sad how friendships start to fade. Of course it is inevitable, but sometimes I think about how much I just want to see everyone I love who I am no longer able to see regularly. This past week I also have been craving a certain breakfast food that reminds me of my childhood! Waffles. They are so delicious with their fluffy, yet crispy, texture. I had the best waffles of my life while I was at my aunt’s house visiting a few months ago. So, one morning, when this urge for waffles was particularly strong, I decided it was time for me to make an investment in a waffle maker. I went to the store, picked out the waffle maker that seemed to fit me best (aka the cheapest), then came home so EXCITED!! To me, it was very clear what I needed to do with this waffle maker! I am going to have a waffle party!! I’ll invite all the people I love who I haven’t seen in a while, and we can all enjoy some delicious waffles as well as catch up on life. I’ll definitely include details on how it worked out when it happens! Can’t wait!

The Perks of Having a Lawn

One of the things I miss the most, living in Provo city and in an apartment, is having a lawn. Having a lawn to walk in, to play croquette in, to chase my dog around in, or to lie in and watch the stars in the privacy of my own property is one of the small things I never fully appreciated while I was home. Mowing the lawn used to be my favorite chore because I could just ride around the lawn, listening to music, thinking about all the things there are for a teenager to think about. I loved it, and I can’t wait to do it again. The apartment complex I am at now is a little special. I actually do have something of a lawn in front of my apartment. It’s a little plot of grass, maybe a little bigger than my living room. I love it so much. I spend my Sundays sitting out there, reading a book or just enjoying the beautiful weather. I know it’s kind of an old person thing to do, or maybe just a southern thing, but I seriously love sitting out on my front lawn for hours. I don’t even have to be doing anything in particular. Just sitting there, watching the people and time go by. There’s just something about a little bit of green grass that makes me exponentially happier. Kind of like the first day of spring, sitting in the grass just brings warmth to my soul. The grass is always greener…. When it’s where you live.

Summer Set

Yet another summer has come and gone. And what have I done? Oh man, so much. Can I just say this has been the best summer EVER!! Unfortunately, all good things have to come to an end; however, I won’t let that stop me from having fun NOW! As the new semester has started, it’s once again the time for life evaluation and goal-setting. Which I love. I love feeling like you have gotten somewhere in life, as well as setting new goals for where you want to be. Always moving forward, that is how to live life! Otherwise, you get in a state of complacency. Which, in my opinion, is one of the worst feelings ever. The complacency started to hit me around mid May. I was working at a call center and for a catering company. And…. Well that was about it. I was working. And nothing else was happening. And then I realized something. I had all these big plans and things that I want to do, but I just always pushed them to the future. I realized that I always say “someday maybe” and “when I have more money or time.” Then the moment of revelation came, as I was standing on top of the Y on the mountain screaming YOLO (you only live once) with my friends James and Hannah. Why do I always put things off to be done another day? Why do I constantly push opportunities that will make me happy for later? And that was it. The next day I planted a garden. No, I have no land. And no, I have no special talent in growing plants. But it is my dream to one day live of the fat of my land. So, why not start practicing now? And judging by the outcome, it’s a good thing I started practicing now because it is going to take me a while before I get the skills to live off my land. My garden was not very successful this time…… but next year it’s going to be great!! Also, I think the pot might have been too small for the 8 plants I planted. That is 2 okra plants, 2 tomato plants, 2 cucumber plants, and 2 pea plants…….. looking back…. That seems like a bad idea. They had a great start, just didn’t make it much taller than 6 inches.

This started a chain reaction. I decided I was going to live more in the moment. So what did I do? Went rope swinging.

Jumped off a bridge because my friends did (take that, Mom! Ha!).

Went camping. Floated down a raging river of death…. Until my tube popped. Twice.

Elephant Revival

Beach house

Band of Horses

Road trip to Moses Lake, Washington, the cutest little farm town in all the land, to surprise Hannah for her birthday!

Experienced Hobbitville, creating my own scary story to tell! Hiking all over the most BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS.

Cliff jumping

Rock climbing

Ate a cheeseburger on top of a mountain after INTENSE OFF-TRAILING.

Completed my first triathlon.

Fishing

Sliding rock- the natural water slide. Bowling in the local park (yes, my friend has a set of bowling pins and a ball. “Just in case for emergencies!” Went star gazing, where I made the most epic wish on the most epic shooting start at 11:11. (Which came true, by the way). Had some fun BBQs. Spontaneous dance parties. Flag football!! What what??

Sand volleyball! Hula Hoop routine.

I was thrown my first SURPRISE birthday party! Including being kidnapped by Santa…. Every kid’s dream, right? 7 peaks weekly- the best water park EVER! The Spin Park!

Paddle boarding down The Great Moses Lake.

Midnight dip in the local golf course pond. Deer Creek Reservoir followed by Dairy King - home of the best blueberry shake of my life.

Pawn shopping for road bikes. RANCHERITOS BEAN AND CHEESE BURRITO OBSESSION. Dance Central and Mario Kart. Taught a girl from Laos how to read English. What Makes Life Hard essay party. Farmers Market in The Great Salt Lake City. Buddhist temple tour. Soccer games and hospital food.

Croquette. A lot. Liberating Bicycles.

Intense ultimate Uno. Every Sunday night. Experimental music listening parties. Started new job- working with disabled adults. All in all, I would say that this was a great summer for making dreams come true. I seriously had the best time. I’m glad school is back in because I can continue on my way to making my career dreams come true. And it turns out, I am much closer to making those come true than I thought. So don’t sit around waiting for life to happen. Make it happen.